She does not: GET PMS
She becomes: HORMONALLY HOMICIDAL

She does not have: A KILLER BODY
She is: TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE

She is not: A BAD COOK
She is: MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE

She is not: A BAD DRIVER
She is: AUTOMOTIVELY CHALLENGED

She is not a: PERFECT 10
She is: NUMERICALLY SUPERIOR

She does not: HATE SPORTS ON TV
She is: ATHLETICALLY BIASED

She is not: A GOSSIP
She is a: VERBAL TERMINATOR

She does not: WORK OUT TOO MUCH
She is an: ABDOMINAL OVERACHIEVER

She does not have: A GREAT BUTT
She is: GLUTEUS TO THE MAXIMUS

She is not: HOOKED ON SOAP OPERAS
She is: MELODRAMATICALLY FIXATED

She does not: WEAR TOO MUCH MAKE-UP
She is: COSMETICALLY OVERSATURATED

She will never: GAIN WEIGHT
She will become: A METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVE

She does not: SHOP TOO MUCH
She is: OVERLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO MARKETING PLOYS

She does not: SNORE
She is: NASALLY REPETITIVE

She does not: GET DRUNK
She becomes: VERBALLY DYSLEXIC

She is not: TOO SKINNY
She is: SKELETALLY PROMINENT